my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
