I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize