Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
