I love black thongs
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
