Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I would ride that face into the sunset
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
