I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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