Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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