at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
