At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
they're like a gay fantastic four
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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