The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Randomize
