Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
