If i could tip my vagina, i would.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I need a beard to bite.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
