The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
