I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
