am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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