considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize