I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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