fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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