Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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