I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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