i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I licked your asshole in confidence.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
