you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
