this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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