And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Randomize
