Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
