The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
