enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
