We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
