Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Randomize
