Plan B is the new Plan A
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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