One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
