Need sex. Gaining weight.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
