And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
