i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
