Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
