I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize