No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
