Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
