Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
