she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
