So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
