Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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