Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
