I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
