She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
They have beer where we have blood.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize