whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
