Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
