Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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