Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
