I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
