White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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