apparently the secret to your success is patron
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
