I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
