Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize