So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
