Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
