capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
