Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
