i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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